Why Should I Cry For You?

iPod Shuffle has done it again. Brought me to a state of sadness in the middle of work. Why should I cry for you? Did you ever cry for me? Could you ever love me like I deserved?

Why Should I Cry For You
by Sting

Under the dog-star sail
Over the reefs of moonshine
Under the skies of fall
North-north-west, the stones of Faroe

Under the Arctic fire
Over the seas of silence
Hauling on frozen ropes
For all my days remaining
Would north be true?

All colours bleed to red
Asleep on the ocean's bed
Drifting in empty seas
For all my days remaining
Would north be true?
Why should I, why should I cry for you?
Dark angels follow me
Over a godless sea
Mountains of endless fog
For all my days remaining

What would be true?
Sometimes I see your face,
The stars seem to lose their place
Why must I think of you?
Why must I? Why should I?
Why should I cry for you?
Why would you want me to?
And what would it mean to say,
'I loved you in my fashion?'
What would be true?
Why should I, why should I cry for you?
Why should I cry?

Tearing it all down

Here I am again. At the eye of the storm. Putting my foot down. Trying to make sense of the chaos. I drive home from my best friend's house, put my iPod on shuffle. And this song comes up:

Throw it All Away
by Zero 7

Try talking to you
While you do, while you do
I swap places with you
Just to see things through
Just sing me the tune
And you'll see
I'll keep it here for you
I'll wait for your cue

You wrote down all the words
Black and white
On a wall
Just keepin' it so
Yeah you know how it goes
No plans for a change, nothing strange
No not today no way
Now sing me the tune

Cash it in and throw it all away
Never needed any of it anyway

So you twist and you turn
Uncomfortable fool, you'll never learn
But you can take a stand
Forget all about the plans California rose

Side one track two
On a record of you
I've even stuck on a groove
That I don't wanna lose
Just play it again, as a friend
It's your favorite worn-in shoes
Now sing me the tune

Cash it in and throw it all away, yeah
Never needed any of it anyway

So you crash, and you burn
Sometimes the road will twist and turn
Some of this, less of that
Forget all about the map California road

Cash it in and throw it all away
Never needed any of it anyway

Cash it in and throw it all away, yeah
Never needed any of it anyway

Cash it in and throw it all away
Never needed any of it anyway

Cash it in and throw it all away
Never needed any of it anyway

Always...

Found a new song by Peter Bradley Adams. I love his music best when he was part of eastmountainsouth. His latest song is haunting me. Reminding me of a time when I was waiting for someone. I taste the bittersweetness of that time. Oh, how it has colored me.

Always
=====

you can break her down
with your highs and lows
she's familiar with the sound
the sound you make every time you go

always.. always she waits for me
always.. always she waits for me

this holiday she's alone
she leaves the lights on the tree
and though the new year is gone
every night there still on for you to see

always.. always she waits for me
always.. always she waits for me
always... always always she waits for me
always.. always she waits for me
always
always


dont wait too long
she would choose to believe
that her hear is still strong
strong enough if only you could see

always.. always she waits for me
always.. always she waits for me
always... always always she waits for me
always.. always she waits for me
always
always
always
always

You Feel Like Home, You Feel Like Home

An amazing night and a sweet good morning. What is that grin on my face, you ask? Hmmmmmmm :)

You're the prince to my ballerina
You feed other people's parking meters
You encourage the eating of ice cream
You would somersault in sand with me

You talk to loners, you ask how's your week
You give love to all and give love to me
You're obsessed with hiding the sticks and stones
When I feel the unknown
You feel like home, you feel like home

You put my feet back on the ground
Did you know you brought me around
You were sweet, and you were sound
You saved me

You're the warmth in my summer breeze
You're the ivory to my ebony keys
You would share your last jelly bean
You would somersault in sand with me

You put my feet back on the ground
Did you know you brought me around
You were sweet and you were sound
You saved me

You put my feet back on the ground
Did you know you brought me around
You were sweet and you were sound
See I had shrunk yet still you wore me around
And 'round and 'round

mmm the feeling...

lay in bed this morning with a smile on my face, soft and warm.
on my way out, sat in my car with this song playing, you standing on the front lawn, smiling...

Feelin' Love
by Paula Cole

Love, love

You make me feel like a sticky pistil...
leaning into a stamen
You make me feel like a mister sunshine...
Himself
You make me feel like splendor in the grass...
While we're rollin'
Damn skippy baby
You make me feel like the Amazon's runnin' between...
my thighs

CHORUS:

You make me feel love, love, love, love, love
love, love, love, love, love
You make me feel love, love, love, love, love
love, love, love, love

You make me feel like a candy apple
All red and horney
You make me feel like I wanna be a dumb blonde
In a centerfold, the girl next door
And I would open the door and...
I'd be all wet
With my tits soaking through this tiny little t-shirt...
That I'm wearing
And you would open the door and tie...
Me up to the bed

Chorus

Lover, I don't know who I am OOohhh
Am I Barry White? Am I hot inside? Ohhh...
Lover, I'm laced with your unconscious
Oh baby babe babe baby
I will be your Desdemona ahhhhh...

Take your time

You make me feel Ahaa
You make me feel WooWoo baby
You make me feel Ahaa mmm
You make me feel loved

If I Could Fall...

How do you start again, after being hurt? How do you unclench the heart? How do you soften the grip that protects you?

If I Could Fall
by Lenny Kravitz

When I was young
I fell in love
She was a goddess
With a world inside of her mind
When she moved on
Something went wrong
She took my power
And the love I had inside
Now that I found you
I don't know how to

If I could fall
In love again
I'd fall in love with you

If I could change
A grain of sand
Into a pearl, I would

I pray in time
I'll come to find
A way to break through
And save this heart of mine
You've waited long
If you can't hold on
I wouldn't blame you
I don't think I'd be that strong
What am I to do
If I can't have you

If I could fall
In love again
I'd fall in love with you

If I could change
A grain of sand
Into a pearl, I would

You love me so
Even though I don't know
How do you deal
With a man like me

If I could fall
In love again
I'd fall in love with you

If I could change
A grain of sand
Into a pearl, I would
I would, I would, I would

She's Simple

I simply love this song. *I* think its me, but I probably need an outside opinion ;)

(lyrics with a picture of me by Skyler)


Simple
by the Animators

her eyes are too wide for a city girl
but she was downtown born and raised
don't even try to surprise her
but she can be easily amazed
she's seen enough, she oughta be jaded
but she still feels all that she can
and she's clever enough to be all complicated
but she's easy enough to understand

she's simple like a circle
simple like a smile
kisses like a grownup
and loves me like a child
after all this time i been running away
she makes it so, so simple to stay

it's easy to start her laughing
she can't hold anything inside
and it's easy to bring the tears to her eyes
but it's hard to imagine that anyone would try

she's simple like a circle
simple like a smile
kisses like a grownup
and loves me like a child
after all this time i been running away
she makes it so, so simple to stay

and when the light falls on the chrysler building right
she can be glad about it
through the day into the night
well i guess you'd call that simple right?

she's simple like a circle
simple like a smile
kisses like a grownup
and dreams like a child
simple like a love song
simple like a ring
she might get the words wrong but she's gonna sing
she's simple like an ocean
simple like sigh
she'll tell you a story but she can't tell a lie
there's nobody like her
so why would i run away?
she makes it so, so simple to stay.

An Interesting Time in My Life

Yes, I'm thinking of the scene from Fight Club. At the end of the movie, the beginning of the rest of their lives. Standing with hands held together, watching the collapse of structures that hold us all back. Holding breath, wondering if self will collapse in the process. Are we really safe standing here? For now I will stand still, breathe, let it be.

And then I heard this song, and it seemed to fit:

CHANGE A COME
c. 2005 Hyim

Sometimes ya work it in
Sometimes ya work it out
Sometimes ya work it baby
Sometimes it gives ya something to be about

(((Chorus)))
Change a come
That’s all it is
Change a come
In my warm arms and a moving breeze
Change a come
That’s all it is

Singing for the saints and cynics in my head
Laying to rest my need to know
That what I do
Will change the world
Cuz it already has, yeah
It already has

(((Chorus)))

Dreaming of possible outcomes in hopeful hymns
Sometimes ya work it out, sometimes ya work it in
I don’t place all my hope in big hope
But I ballot punch and then I amp my vote
You know, I don’t lay all my hope in big vote
But I ballot punch and then I amp my hope
Rock the boat, and I call the quote, and I sing my note
Fast or slow…always:

(((Chorus)))

http://hyimvibe.com/

Please Believe In Me

I love Lenny. This song breaks my heart...



Believe

where's the love we had?
when did it go bad?
or am I just insecure?
I give all I can
baby I'm your man
tell me what we're in this for
remind me

chorus
I can't go on
I know not what to do
my heart is worn
I feel as if I'm through
please believe in me
'cause what I need is for you
to believe in me

countless sleepless nights
never ending fights
I'm trying to make your dreams come true
I will sacrifice
to find paradise
but I need to know that you're
behind me

chorus
I can't go on
I know not what to do
my heart is worn
I feel as if I'm through
please believe in me
'cause what I need is for you
to believe in me

Brand New Chapter

Its a banner day today... posted up my brand new page for my solo music. http://www.myspace.com/ajanuarygirl

My new favorite song is one that I wrote (I love when that happens!)

Across the Meadow
by Jennifer Wilde (c) 2007

across the meadow i will run
across the meadow you will come

after school each day
i'll run up your back stairs
your mom will make us lemonade
and then well run off to play

you'll be my best friend
confidants and comrades
junior high you'll have my heart
our first kiss 'neath the oak tree in the meadow

ooo next lifetime

i'll know when we move into
that house next door to yours
i'll see that this will be our chance
to get what we could not before

we'll look into each others eyes
and recognition will alight
several lifetimes in the planning
before we could get it right this time

ooo next lifetime

high school graduation will come
and we'll vow to never part
share the same schools, the same dreams
one life, one love and one heart

and when we marry we will
stand beneath that shining oak tree
in the meadow where we used to run
just like we planned in this lifetime...
when we could not be

not in this lifetime

ooo in the next lifetime
lets make a promise
to meet when we are small

ooo not in this lifetime
but in the next, yes in the next one
we will have it all

across the meadow i will run
across the meadow you will come

Its Been Awhile

And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile since I first saw you
And it's been awhile since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile since I could call you

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means

It's been awhile
Since I can say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been awhile since I can say I love myself as well and
And it's been awhile since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do
And it's been awhile but all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and fucked things up again

Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day

And it's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile since I said I'm sorry
And it's been awhile since I've seen the way the candles light your face
And it's been awhile but I can still remember just the way you taste

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem to be
I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me

And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile since I said I'm sorry

Finding Me

Another track from the Vertical Horizon cd. This one speaks to me about personal growth and outgrowing a relationship.

I also got a chuckle out of the chorus:

Don't tell me how to be
'Cause I like some suffering

samsara, indeed! I had an opportunity lately to look back over relationships in my life, particularly ones filled with drama. What does it all say about me? Part of me doesn't want to answer that question. If I wanted to put myself in the best possible light, I would say that I am passionate person and I throw myself headlong into my feelings, unafraid of the consequences. But I know myself, and I have had a flair for the dramatic. And I've made choices both bad and good. But all that has made me who I am today. So who am I to take it back?

Vertical Horizon: Finding Me

Channeling energy into Creative Endeavours

Song in progress: "Breathlessly Waiting":

breathless
by Jennifer Wilde, copyright 2006

VERSE 1:
we talk in tongues and lips
singing each others praises
your breath and mine intertwined
you pine away the days
you are breathlessly waiting

speak to me so i can hear you
sing to me so i can feel you
sigh to my cheek, in my ear
let me know you are here
I am breathlessly waiting

CHORUS:
breathless breathless
breathless breathless

VERSE 2:
we two are two close strings
resonating in sympathetic vibration
we two are too close, yet not touching
wavering, trembling
and breathlessly waiting

bridge:
waiting for an outward sign
some oracle with prescient mind
to tell us what we will find

waiting for the right time
waiting for the right word
growing hungry with the waiting

VERSE 3:
we are in explicably drawn
like moths dancing round the same flame
wings and limbs entwined
drawn to the light and heat again and again
we are breathlessly waiting

breathlessly waiting

Change of Scenery is what I need

I want to wake up somewhere new
Sunlight streaming in through a different window
Unfamiliar street sounds gently greeting
Stretch and look outside in the silence

I want to wake up beside someone new
See a different face smiling at me
Unfamiliar eyes and arms and skin
On sheets and under blankets

I want to breathe the air anew
Feel the wind change direction
Bringing warmth instead of ice
Invigorating, caressing, inviting

[listening to: Rilo Kiley "More Adventurous"]

In Spite of it All

Sometimes we make choices in the face of everything that tells us not to. Like having children in times as unsettling and uncertain as these. Like sharing our heart, our feelings, in the face of our fear. That's why I've chosen this song for today:

Caruso Sings - Inglistown [cover of Everything but the Girl]
(do you recognize that girl singing backup?)

Some of my favorite lines of all times are in that song:

If I only do one thing, I'll sing songs to my father
I'll sing songs to my child...

This is why I create music, why I sing. Because in the face of everything, sometimes its all I can do.