Why Should I Cry For You?

iPod Shuffle has done it again. Brought me to a state of sadness in the middle of work. Why should I cry for you? Did you ever cry for me? Could you ever love me like I deserved?

Why Should I Cry For You
by Sting

Under the dog-star sail
Over the reefs of moonshine
Under the skies of fall
North-north-west, the stones of Faroe

Under the Arctic fire
Over the seas of silence
Hauling on frozen ropes
For all my days remaining
Would north be true?

All colours bleed to red
Asleep on the ocean's bed
Drifting in empty seas
For all my days remaining
Would north be true?
Why should I, why should I cry for you?
Dark angels follow me
Over a godless sea
Mountains of endless fog
For all my days remaining

What would be true?
Sometimes I see your face,
The stars seem to lose their place
Why must I think of you?
Why must I? Why should I?
Why should I cry for you?
Why would you want me to?
And what would it mean to say,
'I loved you in my fashion?'
What would be true?
Why should I, why should I cry for you?
Why should I cry?

Always...

Found a new song by Peter Bradley Adams. I love his music best when he was part of eastmountainsouth. His latest song is haunting me. Reminding me of a time when I was waiting for someone. I taste the bittersweetness of that time. Oh, how it has colored me.

Always
=====

you can break her down
with your highs and lows
she's familiar with the sound
the sound you make every time you go

always.. always she waits for me
always.. always she waits for me

this holiday she's alone
she leaves the lights on the tree
and though the new year is gone
every night there still on for you to see

always.. always she waits for me
always.. always she waits for me
always... always always she waits for me
always.. always she waits for me
always
always


dont wait too long
she would choose to believe
that her hear is still strong
strong enough if only you could see

always.. always she waits for me
always.. always she waits for me
always... always always she waits for me
always.. always she waits for me
always
always
always
always

What if...

What if the universe gave me everything I asked for? Would I take it? Would I even believe it was there, in front of me?

What if I met someone who was everything I ever wanted. Would I give in? Would I let go of the past and the hurt?

What if my life started to align itself to the things I had been calling into being. Would it feel real? Or like a dream?

Its all very strange right now. And wonderful. And giddy. And upsetting, at times. Confronting myself in the best possible way.

I need to start writing lyrics again. I've been distracted in the most delicious way...

You Feel Like Home, You Feel Like Home

An amazing night and a sweet good morning. What is that grin on my face, you ask? Hmmmmmmm :)

You're the prince to my ballerina
You feed other people's parking meters
You encourage the eating of ice cream
You would somersault in sand with me

You talk to loners, you ask how's your week
You give love to all and give love to me
You're obsessed with hiding the sticks and stones
When I feel the unknown
You feel like home, you feel like home

You put my feet back on the ground
Did you know you brought me around
You were sweet, and you were sound
You saved me

You're the warmth in my summer breeze
You're the ivory to my ebony keys
You would share your last jelly bean
You would somersault in sand with me

You put my feet back on the ground
Did you know you brought me around
You were sweet and you were sound
You saved me

You put my feet back on the ground
Did you know you brought me around
You were sweet and you were sound
See I had shrunk yet still you wore me around
And 'round and 'round

If I Could Fall...

How do you start again, after being hurt? How do you unclench the heart? How do you soften the grip that protects you?

If I Could Fall
by Lenny Kravitz

When I was young
I fell in love
She was a goddess
With a world inside of her mind
When she moved on
Something went wrong
She took my power
And the love I had inside
Now that I found you
I don't know how to

If I could fall
In love again
I'd fall in love with you

If I could change
A grain of sand
Into a pearl, I would

I pray in time
I'll come to find
A way to break through
And save this heart of mine
You've waited long
If you can't hold on
I wouldn't blame you
I don't think I'd be that strong
What am I to do
If I can't have you

If I could fall
In love again
I'd fall in love with you

If I could change
A grain of sand
Into a pearl, I would

You love me so
Even though I don't know
How do you deal
With a man like me

If I could fall
In love again
I'd fall in love with you

If I could change
A grain of sand
Into a pearl, I would
I would, I would, I would

Please Believe In Me

I love Lenny. This song breaks my heart...



Believe

where's the love we had?
when did it go bad?
or am I just insecure?
I give all I can
baby I'm your man
tell me what we're in this for
remind me

chorus
I can't go on
I know not what to do
my heart is worn
I feel as if I'm through
please believe in me
'cause what I need is for you
to believe in me

countless sleepless nights
never ending fights
I'm trying to make your dreams come true
I will sacrifice
to find paradise
but I need to know that you're
behind me

chorus
I can't go on
I know not what to do
my heart is worn
I feel as if I'm through
please believe in me
'cause what I need is for you
to believe in me

I Still Think About You

Even though I shouldn't. Even though its over. Even though I'm moving on and you've moved on already.

Tangible memories are fading, mostly through force of will. I have pushed away the sparkling ones I used to hold dear. They are much too painful, and I cannot live my life in the past. If I do, it will only delay the future, when I will meet a man who will love me completely, who I will love completely in return.

Don't judge me too harshly for pushing you away. In this moment, I still care about you.

Calling it into being

Manifestation. That's what I'm exploring these days. Creating a clear picture in my mind of what I want my life to be like. These days, I've been looking at what I want creatively and romantically, and how the two collide. I close my eyes, and envision a partner, a collaborator, someone who lights me up and turns me on, who is inspired by me in turn. I imagine a house nestled in the trees at dusk. Coming up the drive, lights on, knowing the one I love is inside, waiting. A studio inside, a place to sing and play and work. An outpouring of love, of my life's work. Warm arms to surround me as I listen to a take. Nights of long conversation, long pauses, staring into each other's eyes.

I keep this vision firmly fixed in my mind. I believe in my own power; I can have it all. That's not to say there won't be work involved, or that it will all be easy. But I believe it is possible.

Oh yes, I do. You see... I am a believer.

Finding Me

Another track from the Vertical Horizon cd. This one speaks to me about personal growth and outgrowing a relationship.

I also got a chuckle out of the chorus:

Don't tell me how to be
'Cause I like some suffering

samsara, indeed! I had an opportunity lately to look back over relationships in my life, particularly ones filled with drama. What does it all say about me? Part of me doesn't want to answer that question. If I wanted to put myself in the best possible light, I would say that I am passionate person and I throw myself headlong into my feelings, unafraid of the consequences. But I know myself, and I have had a flair for the dramatic. And I've made choices both bad and good. But all that has made me who I am today. So who am I to take it back?

Vertical Horizon: Finding Me

Channeling energy into Creative Endeavours

Song in progress: "Breathlessly Waiting":

breathless
by Jennifer Wilde, copyright 2006

VERSE 1:
we talk in tongues and lips
singing each others praises
your breath and mine intertwined
you pine away the days
you are breathlessly waiting

speak to me so i can hear you
sing to me so i can feel you
sigh to my cheek, in my ear
let me know you are here
I am breathlessly waiting

CHORUS:
breathless breathless
breathless breathless

VERSE 2:
we two are two close strings
resonating in sympathetic vibration
we two are too close, yet not touching
wavering, trembling
and breathlessly waiting

bridge:
waiting for an outward sign
some oracle with prescient mind
to tell us what we will find

waiting for the right time
waiting for the right word
growing hungry with the waiting

VERSE 3:
we are in explicably drawn
like moths dancing round the same flame
wings and limbs entwined
drawn to the light and heat again and again
we are breathlessly waiting

breathlessly waiting