Home for the Holidays

Interesting phrase that. My new home, although I have only been here a month, feels like a safe haven. It also, at times, feels like a dark echoy cave. I'm frequently alone in the house, so how i view it depends on what mood I am in. And lately, I've been all over the map.

I'm going to my sister's home today to visit my family. A sort of homecoming, although I see them regularly. Going with my son and his dad. Not as a pretend family; we're beyond that. We are a family of a different sort, where we are friends and parents. Easier to endure the holidays knowing at least I don't have to act like "everything's ok". Why did I feel the need to do that for so long?

Tomorrow we are visiting his family. I have no idea how that is going to go. The last thing Doc said to me was something like a plea not to break D's heart. Did I do that? How will be be around me? We shall soon find out.

After that I will want to retreat, I am sure. Although I'll probably be social on Tuesday, and then in the studio that night. Ahhhhhh creating music. It does so soothe me.

The other night I saw Vienna Teng in concert. She was brilliant, moved me to tears a couple times. She played my favorite song of hers, Harbor, that will always hold a special place in my heart. And I had a thought that night, that home is where my heart is. Where my heart wants to be, there I am home.

I am such a romantic sometimes, sheesh! :)